Raped!!!!

I feel violated!!! Oh Hell!! I do!!
The WAC assignment was due for submission on the 14th at 10 am. Its one of those bloosy subjects where the prof refuses to acknowledge that a printout is neater than a handwritten doc.
"Ink and paper", he says, " Its difficult to copy from a handwritten doc."
Well.. the case was not too difficult... Frankly, it seemed rather straight... I saw everyone around me making notes and I wondered why people were spending so much time on a case so simple...
WAC can wait..

The night before submission, I began to read the case again... this time a lil more attentively... I realised that it wasnt half as easy as i thought i was... 3 hours into making notes and i was back where i started... no leads...
More coffee... more abuses... more notes...
No effect...
I was beginning to get a lil irritated... i was feelin like a complete idiot...

I ran to my neighbours room. People had already completed thier assignments. I asked them for ideas. The pointers seemed absolutely fascinating... but as soon as i got back to my room, i realised that they were very generic and did not pertain to the case...

More thinking... no ideas... damn my grey cells..
I made a rough draft and decided it was not worthwhile wasting my sleep over the silly assignment. At half past five while jogging along for the mandatory jog, i went over the case in my mind... nothing different seemed to strike me...
By now, almost everyone had completed thier assignments and i was beginning to get a little worried.

I hurried back, picked the draft and started preparing the fair copy, promptly incorporating anything that seemed remotely logical... In an hours time i was done with the write up. The solutio seemed logical and the more i read the write up, the more perfect it seemed.
I was proud of my abilities... i was beginning to feel like an analyst.. wow!!!!
I would soon be THE man every consultancy would want...

A week passed by peacefully... then the prof walks into class with a bundle of papers..
"a couple of good ones... the rest belongs to the bin"
I was confident that mine was one of the 'couple" he mentioned..
"Highest in class... 26/40... average score ... around 18-20/40."

I checked my paper... 12/40
I turned it around to see if it could be 26 written any other way...
I read through the case again... I was struck with disbelief... How would a piece of genius fetch just 12 marks????
I checked the comments
"The solutions are structured well... but your problem definition is wrong. You have identified and solved the wrong problem.... "
What the hell... i atleast SOLVED a problem...
12!!!???!!!

Violated!!! hammered!!! ego squashed to pulp!!!
RAPED... yet life goes on!!!!

FCQ!!!!

For the uninitiated... FCQ's are "frequently conducted quizzes" which are conducted every saturday morning !!!

3:30 pm -Friday Afternoon
"Abbe.. are you sure we have RM & BLaw and nothing else"
"We could have HRM..."
"Who told you???"
"Room 8445 ...."
"Fuck man... Mr.XYZ was also hinting at a probable MM test.."
"Seriously?? how many chapters has he covered??"
"donno man.. wat abt DA???"
"i doubt.. he caught us unawares last week"
"accounts???"
"nahin re... he hasnt even covered 2 chapters..."
"ops???"
"oh fuck!! wait a sec... i forgot abt ops.. and ERP!!"
"Shit!!"
"So we could have RM, BLaw,OPS or ERP???"
"Yeah... 9:30 am tomorrow"
"hmmm......"

10:30 am saturday
"abbe... I studied RM and BLaw.."
"bloody... i hit a night out... i did ops also.."
"DA?????"
"I know... who would have expected DA back to back???"
"i friggin slogged all night and the bottomline... well nevamind"
"hmmm....."

Did someone say Murphy???? :D

The pound of flesh!!!

Warning: The hindi conversations are a testimony to my atrocious spoken skills at Hindi.
please carry on at your own peril!!!

Of late I haven’t had the opportunity to blog. But this incident truly deserves a mention…

One bright and sunny morning, Jonnie decide to go to the city. Now city is a good 30 km from our college … so going to the city is like a really time consuming and painful ritual. His cellphone was behaving badly. So he decided to hand it over to the “cellphone clinic”.

Javed, the friendly shopkeeper looks at the phone, “Saab, the IC itself is gone. You will have to change it. I have it ready with me. Come back at 3 pm. Vapas de doonga.”

“Accha… cool hain… 3 pm tak aajaoonga”

Jonnie remembered that his friends were celebrating life by drinking all day on that day. He decided to join them. A little small talk… a little wine… the spirits beginning to soar... and the clock strikes 2:30

“Faaaak… Mera cellphone lana hain… il be back in sometime… leave some wine… damn just when I was beginning to feel nice… “ *mumble mumble*…

“Boss… cellphone ready ho gaya kya??”

“Sirji… er… aapka cellphone Mumbai beja hoon… shaam tak vapas aajayega…”

“Kya hua..”

“Ek chota sa component kharab ho gaya tha…”

“Shaam kab vapas aaoo??”

“7 pm tak aajayie… ready hoga”

*mumble mumble*

“Bastard sent my phone to Mumbai …”

“What the fuck for???”

“Some bloody component…”

“So he could’ve got the component sent here..”

“Er… dint strike me… but WTF!!! Il get it in a couple of hours… Sheily will call only at night so its fine”

“Cheers.. “

The clock struck 7.

“Holy Mother of Christ!!!! Its seven… that fellow told me to collect my cellphone… If the bugger shuts his shop… I’m screwed…”

“Bhaiya!!! Hogaya kya..”

“Saab… Abhi tak vapas nahi aaya”

“Kya bol rahe ho… 7 o clock aane ko bola tha… abhi 9 hogaya hain…”

“Sirji… 10 O clock aajaiye … definitely mil jayega…”

“Yaar, I have to go for a party tonight…”

“Saab… aap kal subah collect kijiye…”

“But my friend will call…”

“No problem… Use this Motorola piece for now…”

“Arre… This is like a brick… How will I carry this around”

“Sir.. ek din ki to baat hain …”

“Fuck it!!!! What a life!!!’

TRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR…

“Faaaaaak… I gotta collect the cellphone… Ive got that damn OR lecture in the afternoon… Cant miss it man…”

“What time did he tell you to come?”

“12…”

“Its already 12… u overslept… Your class is at 2:30 na… You better leave now if you wanna attend the OR class”

“FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!!”

“ Bhai!!! Hogaya kya??”

“Saab… Kal raat who type puncture ho gaya???”

“Cellphone main tyre kaise aagaya???”

“Saab… who ladka aapka cellphone leke aaraha tha… Tyre puncture ho gaya”

*super puzzled look*

“Now what????”

“Saab… aap ghoomke vapas aajaiye… 3 O clock tak 100% miljayega…”

“Fuck!! There goes my OR class”

3:00 pm

“Ok… done with this bloody hopeless movie… I hope the phone is fixed… the slimy SOB… Il eat his head off if he dosent give me the phone now”

Jonnie managed to find an auto to take him to that “cellphone clinic”. He had already spent close to 400 bucks on these arbit trips. Two of those with a brick in his pocket..

“ Arre… Is shop ka malik kaha gaya hain?”

“Saab… abhi bahar gaye hain… vapas aajayenge… aap yahan wait kijiye”

“Arre chotu… 4 O clock ho gaya… mera cellphone milega ki nahin…”

“Sirji… il call him up…”

“Bhai saab… aap apne darshan karaoge??”

“Aap kaun??”

“Tera baap… saale mera cellphone leke bhaag gaya aur phir poochta hain kaun???”

“Saab… abhi 10 minute main aajaonga… aapka cellphone ready hain”

“10 minute ke baad main paise nahin doonga”

“Saar… abhi aajoonga”

5:30 pm

“ Sirji … lo aapka cellphone..”

“Haa.. thank you ji…” and Jonnie began to walk…

“Sirji… 500 hua …”

“Nahi doonga…”

“Dena hi padega”

“Catch me if you can..”

With this Jonnie began to run…

The fellow chased him and jumped on him.

“ Saale, paise nahi dega??”

“Nahi doonga... kutte... kamine maa*****“

They started beating each other up…

Finally the passers by separated them… Jonnie got into an auto and headed back to the bus stop.

His arm was hurting real bad… He unbuttoned his shirt. And lo!!! There was a huge bite on his chest!!!!

The man had bitten off a good half kg off his chest.

Talk about love bites!!!!

Good night!!!!

Bloody long hiatus!!!

Hi folks!!!
Im so friggin tempted to say the cliched " Im back ..... and im better than ever"
Seriously i feel so ME now that im back to blogging..
I had lost my account password and had a torrid time retrieving it...
nevamind the excuses... im back!!!
AND THATS THE BOTTOMLINE!!!!
mug!!!