Kaam Tamam

I was sitting in my cubicle and pondering over a problem when I get a call from one of my friends ...
“ Oye… ******* kya kar rahe ho”
“ generally just… “
“just wondering if we can scoot to mysore tomorrow… getting bored… “
“how about tonight???”
There was just a moment of silence before what I had said dawned on us…

“Il be at your place in an hours time”
“Sure”
He hung up… I quickly found excuses and raced towards home… I Just had time enough to have a quick shower when I could hear his car screeching to a halt before my house…

A few cds, a couple of spare clothes… a few chocolates… n we were off on our way…
We decided to drag along another friend , lets call him Tamam.

We called him up on our way to his house and told him our plans… we had decided to drag him along at any cost… He seemed shaken up by the entire plan and tried to come up with excuses for each of which we had our own ridiculous counter – excuses…

“Oye.. were goin mysore… get dressed….”
“what dya mean”
“oye we know ur hardly wearing anything at this hour of the night… and watching some mallu pondy “
“Abbe… that’s ok.. what mysore…”
“just get dressed … we wil be there in 10 minutes”
“WTF????”
“yeah….”


In ten minutes we were outside his huge house…. Our man comes out to receive us in his pajamas and sweater.. man all that was missing was a monkey cap… It would’ve made a perfect goorkha picture… he tried sheepishly to give excses…
“Abbe kal mereko meeting hain yaar… nahin aa paoonga”
“what time is the meeting”
“sharp 8 o clock maccha…”
“don’t worry… you will be in office by 8am”
“WTF??? What ..”
“chill… go wear atleast ur undies… we gotta leave now..”
“Abbe maa***** I have work tomorrow”
“ba*** to your work… were leaving now… if you don’t step out now… were gonna start screaming ur lover babes name… she stays in the opposite building right???”
We could see the jimmy wince in discomfort…
He tried a few more excuses before he came up with the ultimate mother of all…
“Speak to my daddy… me good boy… wont go without daddys aashirvaard!!!!”
We confidently walked into his house… I was almost sure I would be able to work my magic with his parents… but one step into the house… n it spelt doom…
Uncle was in a murderous mood… one look and we knew what to expect… We could see Tamam jumping around in delight while we were wriggling uncomfortably…
“Tamam wont be going out tonight.. he has fever… when I last checked it was 98.1 degrees… besides he had running nose last week… “
“Ok uncle… yeah I guess he must stay home… it might get worse…”
“Why don’t you guys go upstairs and talk for a while… “
“yes uncle”
We put our heads down and walked into Tamams room… as expected he was watchin one of those movies and… we gave him ideas like eloping with us… considering his tendencies im sure he would’ve been considerably excited n all… but he kept his thoughts to himself and told us to wait in his room while he went for his customary leaks… ive known this freak of nature for over a decade now but ive never been able to explain his bladder problems… he had a reasonably tight one before he developed pimple problems and his mommy got a laser surgery done on his nose… God alone knows what the doctor did but although his pimples weren’t to be seen for a almost a week his bladder (im not talking gall bladder) seemed to have lost considerable strength. By the time he reappeared we stowed away his company swipe card in a pile of books and shouted goodbye…
When we got to the car we were still wondering how that freak could possibly prefer “nice” movies to a long night drive..
The journey was a pleasant one … we were almost halfway into Kengeri when we got a call from a rather shaken up Tamam …
“Hey did u guys see my swipe card anywhere..”
“Hell yeah… its with us … dammit!!!!”
“grrrrr… brrrrrr… mrrrrrr…”
“what happened???”
“I don’t believe you guys are my friends…”
“We don’t believe you ditched us…”
“You actually have my…”
“Yeah.. well be back tomorrow morning… Just look around… u might just find it somewhere there..”
and I could no longer hear the soothing background music from his dads transistor…

We carried on.. the journey was amazing… good music… good conversation and mild traffic… so we generally proceeded towards Mysore at a reasonable speed. We were running out of ideas when we get another call from out Tamam!!!
“B****** ur coming back rt now n returning the card to me… WTF is wrong with you guys… “
The tone was not one of anger … it was a confused tone.. totally confused… almost begging for us to return his card…
We couldn’t help laughing out aloud.In fact we had to stop the vehicle so that we could laugh without danger… and all the while our dear Tamam is letting loose a tirade of abuses…
We could literally hear the relief he felt when we told him that his card was in his house only …
After we hung up… we carried on.. One stop at Café Coffee Day … and within a couple of hours we were in Mysore…
One amazing trip… in every sense of the word!!!!!