"Friends"

"Oh by god!!! hes got close to 500 friends on Orkut!! He must be really friendly..."
I overheard my cousin telling my mom..
"Yeah yeah... he is always on the chat or on the phone... talking to one friend or the other"

This particular excerpt of the conversation was playing on my mind for some strange reason.. It irritated me that a number on a website should determine my "friendliness".

Friends are like pillars on whom we build our whole existence... they are the ones who know the innermost you.. the ones who can understand you even before you utter a word.. They care not only to pick you up when you falter but simply walk by your side even in your most confident strides... You don't hesitate to shed a tear on their shoulder.. you don't have to explain anything to them cos they know everything...

Yet... the more the people who love you so dearly.. the more you feel vulnerable.. Would i want 500 "friends" knowing me inside out... maybe not..

I can count my friends on my fingers... yet, we are all friends aren't we.. ;)

ME!!

I was wondering how best i can describe myself in one take, and hence the effort!!

HERE GOES...

I live black! Colours are coincidental.. I love a canvas with a dash of colours.. I swear by my grandmas Pork Vindaloo and sanas. Jack Daniels is inspiration and RC is a way of life... Music lends life to my existance while the music i create can take someones life away... I can sleep all day if i want to, or not sleep at all.. I like to speak to myself, my closest friends and my cellphone in that order.. I do not like the idea of technology invading my life... yet i give in and adopt to it..

I love cars.. the bigger they are... the more i love them.. I like girls... i like them more if they like me back.. I like English restaurants and fancy menu cards.. I like it when my pockets are full. I hate roses as much as i hate "honkers". I like silence when its comfortable to be silent..

I laugh with many but cry to few.. I dont regret shedding a tear.. I love to pack my bags... I love the night sky and i love the sound of laughter...I am amused by another human.. intelligent women keep me engaged... i measure conversation by my energy level at the end of it..

I talk even when i have no listeners.. i can be irritating and caustic.. i can also be shy!! Id rather the horns to the halo...

Uncertainty

Uncertainty is undoubtedly my worst enemy. It keeps me from thinking straight. I wonder what the next moment holds for me... what should be done next.. will it work out.. The concept of probability is only good on paper. The fact that a mere concept should control each and every action of mine scares me no end.

Here i am towards the end of my post grad studies.. On paper im qualified to take the best decisions in the face of changes and fluctuations... On paper im supposed to conquer shine bright in the face of uncertainty... really??

Deep within theres this raging conflict.. is this what i wanted? Is this really what i want to be doing after 10 years? Will i be happy? Will i be doing justice to my education? Is it all good?

The more i think about these questions, the more dimensions i find, and the more there is left to think about... and with thought comes paranoia. At times i wonder if there is really no way to get rid of the uncertainty... i mean REALLY!!! there must be some where out there...

The fact that my friends seem to contradict in their opinions only makes the uncertain seem more hazy... Each contradiction seems to have a valid argument ...

Im afraid all this thought will still get me nowhere!!

Good Movies at last!!

I saw "Taare Zameen Par" today. It was by far the best hindi movie ive seen in a really really long time. I personally thought that the concept of basing a movie on the difficulties faced by a dyslexic kid was bloody novel. i mean its a welcome change from those featuring semi clad women being chased around bushes by bare chested heroes with a foul "dhin-chak" tune playing in the background.

There were moments when i really felt stripped. The song where the dyslexic kid pleads his mom not to send him to a boarding school left me stunned.. The scene at the competition where the lil kid sees his own face on aamir khans canvas and begins to cry.... That, i thought, was the scene of the movie...

Coming to think of it, hindi cinema is slowly coming of age... Metro, Bheja Fry and now Taare Zameen Par. What i am really happy about is the fact that directors are willing to experiment with the themes... Its the the usual hero-chases-heroine storyline. The fact that newer ideas and executions are being adopted is refreshing.

Even Dus Kahaniyan was a good idea. The concept of 10 short stories on the screen was a novel idea.

I guess the India shining syndrome is catching up with Bollywood as well... Good for us!!!