Uncertainty

Uncertainty is undoubtedly my worst enemy. It keeps me from thinking straight. I wonder what the next moment holds for me... what should be done next.. will it work out.. The concept of probability is only good on paper. The fact that a mere concept should control each and every action of mine scares me no end.

Here i am towards the end of my post grad studies.. On paper im qualified to take the best decisions in the face of changes and fluctuations... On paper im supposed to conquer shine bright in the face of uncertainty... really??

Deep within theres this raging conflict.. is this what i wanted? Is this really what i want to be doing after 10 years? Will i be happy? Will i be doing justice to my education? Is it all good?

The more i think about these questions, the more dimensions i find, and the more there is left to think about... and with thought comes paranoia. At times i wonder if there is really no way to get rid of the uncertainty... i mean REALLY!!! there must be some where out there...

The fact that my friends seem to contradict in their opinions only makes the uncertain seem more hazy... Each contradiction seems to have a valid argument ...

Im afraid all this thought will still get me nowhere!!

Good Movies at last!!

I saw "Taare Zameen Par" today. It was by far the best hindi movie ive seen in a really really long time. I personally thought that the concept of basing a movie on the difficulties faced by a dyslexic kid was bloody novel. i mean its a welcome change from those featuring semi clad women being chased around bushes by bare chested heroes with a foul "dhin-chak" tune playing in the background.

There were moments when i really felt stripped. The song where the dyslexic kid pleads his mom not to send him to a boarding school left me stunned.. The scene at the competition where the lil kid sees his own face on aamir khans canvas and begins to cry.... That, i thought, was the scene of the movie...

Coming to think of it, hindi cinema is slowly coming of age... Metro, Bheja Fry and now Taare Zameen Par. What i am really happy about is the fact that directors are willing to experiment with the themes... Its the the usual hero-chases-heroine storyline. The fact that newer ideas and executions are being adopted is refreshing.

Even Dus Kahaniyan was a good idea. The concept of 10 short stories on the screen was a novel idea.

I guess the India shining syndrome is catching up with Bollywood as well... Good for us!!!

the gigantic sieve!!

Its strange how light of all colours when mixed together should give you white... and when all of it is removed you get black...

The dusk fascinates me... seems like theres a gigantic sieve draining the sky of its hues ... slowly... very very slowly... Its amazing how after the orange and the red theres only black.. and black for a really long time...

What surprises me is that when dawn sets in.. the same orange and red should seep in first... and then theres white!!!! Its bright again!!!

NATURE and its ways... its too strong!!!

Sunrise!!!!

The little drops of dew shone like crystals strewn in an expanse of green... the fresh green... full of life... The blades of grass seemed to speak to each other in chirpy tones... I felt guilty as i walked across the fields... guilty that i may be inflicting pain on a life condemned to silent speech...

The little stream meandered through the green slowly like an endless silvery orange serpent.. The rising sun draped the stream in robes of orange... The crimson of dawn diffused into the black of the night... The otherwise furious sun seemed so calm and harmless...

The wind whistled across the little stunted trees... The leaves rustled gently as if to acknowledge the coldness of the western wind...

The occasional chirping of the birds interrupted the silence of the dark... The black slowly faded into light.. orange and then to white... so slowly... yet so surely...

So strong are the ways of nature... so compelling are its forms... the most sublime thoughts are lent a shape!!!

If only Adam hadn't eaten the forbidden fruit!!!!

Kill or be killed!!

My eyes dilate..brows wrinkle.. Thoughts rush through a confused mind. My ears feel cold with little droplets trickling down the sides.. A steely resolve grips my heart.. The desire to break out of myself manifests itself in an urge to challenge the sturdy hands that supress my identity.. A dry tongue lends voice to the screams of my heart.. "I can't wait to be free"

The long years of pain and suppression have chained me to the ground.. groveling on the murky mire waiting for the sands to cover the mortal mess. Not no more!! The hardened heart waits no more!! The weakened body holds no more!!

My frail hands clutch the steel. "Will there be light??", " Is this the chosen moment?"
Staggering to my feet, I hold aloft the silvery streak.. The arms feel a strength they haven't felt before. My legs suddenly seem sturdy.. The diffused thoughts give way to a clear resolve.. Aa resolve to fight.. Of blood and gore i fear no more..

The chains cannot keep me down no more... The decision is made.. "Kill or be killed"
Oh yes... the sun shines bright...

Bangbangbang!!!!!

I came across this absolutely whacky arbit flash thingie while surfing the net!!! I mean the arbitness beats me for words....

I this this is a must watch!!! Good laugh !!!


add this to your site!

Go Goa

In march 2007, 4 totally vella fellows decided to take off to Goa to beat the stress at college!!!
It was a spontaneous decision and none of us would have even imagined that it would happen considering the circumstances... but well it did happen!!! and what a trip it turned out to be...

I had been to goa 5 times before this but this was by far the best trip to that place ever!!!! Zzanzan managed to capture some of those sooper moments on his handycam... and we managed to come up with this video!!!

In case you are having difficulty viewing the video... you can access the same here

The omelette and the milk!!!!

Ive always wanted to cook something for myself... Ive tried a million times but have failed miserably... even the tea i make turns into some weird brown-black suspension... Mom tried a million times to teach me how to make at least the bare essentials but even she threw up her hands and gave up... Not only that.. she denied me entry into the kitchen...

I however managed to find an ally in Mansij... we would try to make all kinds of "exotic" dishes and would end up making some other "exotic" dish!! After surveying the mess, I would conveniently say "bye bye" while he not just had to clean up but also finish off the delicacies ...

However last week Vinayak and i managed to make our first successful omelette.... scrambled eggs actually... but none the less it was edible!! :)

Happy faces after the successful preparation of the omelette

Good god!!! was I ecstatic or what!!!! I dint cause much damage either... so it was all well.... UNTIL vinayak decided to crave for some milk...

I did not realise that cutting open a milk packet would be that damn difficult... I peacefully slid the blade along the upper corner of the sachet... the milk started gushing out... for some strange reason, i decided to hold the packet tighter. Dammit... the milk would flow more furiously... Just then Ritu enters the kitchen and sees milk spilt all over the kitchen and starts bellowing...

Im more nervous than ever before... more pressure... more milk... man!!!! there was milk all over the place now!!!!
So much for cooking!!!!! grrrrrr....

The trip to Dhanaulti!!

Date: 06-June-2007 to 12-June-2007
Place: Delhi... Dehradun... Hrishikesh... Dhanaulti (Whispering Pines)
Itenary: 40 hours by train to Delhi... weathering 43 deg celsius... 10 hours by Tavera to whispering pines... rock climbing... staying in a tent... rappling... trekking upto 10000 feet above sea level... visiting the Surkhanda devi temple... rafting... 7 hours drive back to Delhi...
Experience: Stunning!!!!!

There are some things that words cant describe... i'll let the pictures do the talking...


Everything was alright until the instructor decided that everyone should get a feel of the cold water... and then...

The guys even rappled... I missed out... i wish i hadnt chickened out... :(

but i did manage the climb.. 35 feet up... huffed and puffed.. but managed!!! :)


then there was the night trek and the bon-fire!!!


Finally... the trek to 10000 feet asl. It was one helluvan amazing trek!!!!



Sweating and panting we managed to get to the Surkhanda devi temple atop the hill...

we had our funny moments as well... more SCARY actually!!!!

All in all... one of the best trips ive gone on...

Orkut and Youtube worm!!!!!

Viruses are getting better by the day... they not just wreak havoc with the comps ... now they even laugh at your face!!!! no im not kidding... THEY LAUGH MUHAHHAHAHAHAH AT YOUR FACE!!!!! what balls!!!!

This happened about a week ago. I had some taken a friend’s pen drive to transfer some music onto my computer. After a while, I casually decided to check my mailbox. I tried opening mozilla and the computer threw a very strange message.

“ I do not have anything against mozilla but use IE otherwise…”
I was quite shocked. “Bill Gates???”

I hate IE. So I did everything possible to get Mozilla running but it was just not possible. I reluctantly opened IE and tried logging onto Orkut.

“Orkut is banned. The administrators have not written this program. Guess who??” Like it was not frustrating enough, a loud gross voice laughs at ur face… I was losing it … seriously!!!

This happened with youtube as well…Just imagine… u have a laptop… a high speed internet connection… yet you cant use orkut or youtube… and you cant use the mozilla browser.

I tried uninstalling and reinstalling mozilla but it was not working. This went on for a week. Today I happened to find the manual "virus slaying" technique… am I excited or what!!!

Just in case you’ve also managed to get yourself into the shit-hole… here’s the remedy:

Log into windows in the safe mode (This you can do by repeatedly pressing F8 button after switching on the machine)

Search for svchost.exe in the system. Look for the files that do not lie in the windows folder and note down the path.The worm does not allow you to access hidden folders. So you have to first change the registry entries. Go to start à run and type regedit

Go to the following path: HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Microsoft\Windows\currentversion
\Explorer\Advanced\Folder\Hidden\SHOWALL and change the key from 2 to 1.

This will enable you to see the hidden files in the system.

Now check the path of the svchost.exe file. You will find that there will be a svchost.exe in C:\heap41a folder. This folder is created by the virus and has the associated mp3 and the script files. Delete this folder manually either directly in windows or through DOS.

Now go to:

HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Microsoft\Windows\currentversion
\Policies\Explorer\Run. The key there will contain a path to the worm folder. Clear this key.

This clears the system of the w32.USBWorm.

This worm spreads through the USB port… so to prevent this irritating virus from entering your computer, disable the auto-run facility on your windows and always scan the USB device with a trusted anti-virus.

Im just hoping they wont try to get back at me now!!!! Phew!!!!