Monday, May 01, 2006

Rod wins!!!!!

When i was in high school, we were staying in a rented house near my school.The owner of the
place had this dog called Tommy. He was a stray dog but the owner decided that he resembled him too much to let him remain a mongrel.So that was how Tommy had found a home.Tommy had these whimsical mood swings.... One moment he would be too lazy to bark and the next he would bark at even the neighbours cycle.
One eventful day one of my close friends decided to come over home.He knew of Tommy since he had come home a couple of times..but Tommy hadnt as much as even sniffed at him... So he had the impression that Tommy was too docile to even swat a fly...
"Oye Elweeeeeeeeen"
"Yeah dude... comeeeeeeng" i screamed back from inside.
I was changing so I was taking a bit of time.
Rod decided that Tommy was too tame to be frightened of. He thought that he would be able to manage.
He slowly opened the gate and started walking towards the stairs. Tommy was barking.. But then again barking dogs seldom bite.. so there wasnt any reason to panic... as yet!!
This was when something suddenly went wrong. He had hardly taken a few steps when Tommy suddenly jumped over the small metal separation, which was supposed to keep him from mankind,and headed straight for Rod.
Rod dint quite have an option. He started screaming heading straight towards me. Tommy for some strange reason took this as an opportunity to showcase his athletic abilities.He went straight for Rod's bottoms.He grasped whatever his teeth could.... and that happened to be Rod's wallet.
Rod however kept running.. he ran with all he had... Tommy's canines had penetrated deep into his wallet but even that would not stop him.. he kept running...
Tommy had to give up in the end... Rod won the battle againt the beast... however he still has the wallet with four holes... and fond memories!!!

Monday, April 10, 2006

"Bruno Choo"

Dumass never fails to amuse me… Well!! Here’s one incident that makes me laugh every time I think about it…
Nick was this class topper material who kept pulling her leg all the time… sometimes casually… sometimes nasty… but what he didn’t realize was that her patience was slowly running out…

“Finished your kannada assignment???”
“Its not oatu dumass… its aitu…”
“Hey Nick… you know im bad at kannada... Why don’t you come over home and teach me??”
“Er… ok… sometime…”
“No you come home today.”
“Today…er... Got a cricket…”
“Pleeeeeeaase” *cheesy smile*
“Hmm…. Ok... Only one hour”
“You won’t need even an hour...”
“No… im a very quick learner. So catch you in the evening”

Bruno was a fierce Doberman… Dumass’ Doberman!! Now im sure you know what was on her mind… He had almost always been tied. One look and the weak hearted would invariable realize that they had weak bladders as well…

“Hey Dumass… where are you?”
“One second… Please remain in the porch... I’ll come right away.”

An instant later she opens the door, holding onto the belt that held back Bruno…
“Hey that’s a scary dog. Tie him up”
“He is bloody scary. Tie him up.”
“No I don’t like to tie him up”
“Then I won’t teach you anything.”
“Don’t teach…”
She looked once at Bruno and smiled.
“Bruno Choo”
With that she let Bruno loose. Now I’d like to remind you that Bruno had never ever been let loose when there was a stranger in the house. It was perhaps the first time he had heard those sweet words, “Bruno Choo”.
He ran towards Nick with all he had. In the meanwhile, Nick realized what was happening. He ran straight for the gate. However he realized that he would never get to the gate before Bruno. He noticed a stone slab, and scaled the neighbours wall using that stone. But Bruno did the same thing. By now Nick was screaming his lungs out… running for his life… It was man against beast… He ran right into the neighbor’s house… and didn’t stop running till he reached the balcony. Bruno however wasn’t that lucky. He was stopped at the door. He however wouldn’t budge. He stayed rooted near the door barking and growling. Nick was screaming, tears rolling down his red cheeks.
Dumass walks out smiling…
“Late for cricket match huh??”
“Il tell momma…”

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

From Idlis to the IIMs

Very inspiring article!!!!
Amazing how people overcome adversity by staring it in face!!!
check it out for yourself!!!!
just in case ur unable to read it from the pic thats attached, an excerpt of the interview in text form is included:

From the slums of Chennai to the hallowed precincts of IIM-A, you are among the select few who realised their dreams...

I always dreamt of earning enough one day to take my mother away from the one room hut we stayed in, to a life of comfort.

I have had a tough childhood and until I joined BITS-Pilani for my graduation, I thought everybody had a similar life.

I was just six when my father left us to face starvation. With a meagre salary of Rs 30, which she earned through a job, she managed to educate me and my siblings.

To make ends meet, she would make idlis and I would sell them on the streets.

But after all this, you refused a job offer of Rs 8.5 lakh per annum?

It would have been very easy to take up a corporate job and give my family all the comforts they have never had. But that's not my ambition.

I'd rather have my own company and employ one person who can support four other lives. That is why I have decided to begin my catering business.

Why only catering?

Serving someone food is an extremely satisfying feeling. The smile that you get after giving good food to someone is
an experience to cherish. Moreover, this industry has less investment and a high turn-over. For the time being though, I am working hard to negotiate offers I have received from different companies and individuals

And how is life otherwise?

I love bikes and cars... and yes, I do have a girlfriend who's very supportive

PS: source courtesy ToI!!!

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Smitten bitten (??) and now shy...

Jack and Jill dint exactly go up the hill … But well they did what they had to do in there and came back all so sweaty…
Jack was 24... Oozing testosterone… Jill was 21… she was “yo”!!! Well like in most love stories they swore they wouldn’t have found anyone else better…
On that eventful day I happened to go out with Jack and Jill… Well the chemistry was perfect. Even the most non-sex related topics would make the two of them cuddle up … This is love, I thought to myself!!!!
A couple of drinks later a fourth friend joined us. We discussed at length what love meant to different people... While Jack and Jill seemed to be professors, Ron and I were content playing the role of diligent students. After paying the careful ear for nearly an hour, I realized Jack and Jill had just taken the opportunity (yet again) to tell each other (yet again) how much they loved each other!!! Forgiveness is virtue and im a virtuous man!!! Maybe I was too drunk to pull my hair …
I decided to call it a day. Thought I would get back home and retire to bed early…

Well I would well have had a great nights sleep but for Jack calling me up well past midnight. The gentleman (read ass) that I am… I picked up the call.
“Oye Dude…” *panting*
“Er… er… who is speaking?”
“Dude im in big shit!!!”
“Er.. My sympathies... but who’s speaking”
“Jack!!!!! What the **** are u calling me up in the middle of my sleep for”
“I got screwed man!!!!”
“You got screwed??? That’s wonderful. Very hearty congratulations… Now can I go back to sleep?”
“No you don’t get it… I just got caught screwing.”
“What in the hell are u talking about??”
“I made out with Jill and got caught.”
“Where??? When??? By whom??”
“I parked the car under a streetlamp on Jefferson Street.”
“Ok... And you thought you guys were the invisible love machines???”
“No I wanted to make sure we knew what we were doing!!”
“Under a streetlamp… yeah ok… go on...”
“The goorkha saw the windows looking abnormal...”
“It’s called respiration my friend.”
“Ah well… anyways… He thought something fishy was going on!!”
“Even I would... ok stop the crap... Tell me what happened... is it big shit or real big shit??”
“Well I had to open the door. He caught me with my pants down.”
“Wah!!! Three cheers to love... did he laugh??? I would have…”
“Ok stop being the cynical bastard… He threatened to raise an alarm.”
“So what did you do? You proclaimed your love for her again??”
“Nahin yaar… I tried… but he dint buy it...”
At this point I couldn’t take it any longer and burst out laughing!!!
“You cynical son of a gun… I thought you had a heart!!!”
“Well I do have a heart but well... The goorkha must well have had a hearty laugh huh…”
“Whatever… the guy took my dads number.”
“And Jill??”
“The goorkha dint see her.”
“So??? ”
“He dint ask her anything...”
I again burst out laughing… This time I was almost in tears.
“You son of a gun… Now what shall I do??”
“Tell your dad everything…”
I was bending over in laughter now, “Marry her dude... You love her don’t you?”
“Er… Well you know…”
“So much for true love”
“Which number did you give?”
“Yours …”
“You friggin chimp in heat… of all your friends on planet Earth, you found me??”
“Please help me out this time… Il return the favor...”
“Trust me dude I won’t make out with my true love under a god dam street lamp…”
“Dude but I hardly ask for favors from you…”
“Ass. I helped you out last week when Sheba and Jill both wanted to eat out at the same place…”
“Er… well ok… but this time… “
“Ok man… so I have to be your dad for a day?”
“Hmm… so much for Jack and Jill and going up the hill”
good night!!!

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Pune Files

Day One:
The signboard which greeted us in Pune read, “Mahindra Erectors”…
Awesome start to the trip I thought to myself…
We roamed the streets… got shouted at by the auto drivers … there was an instance where we got off the auto thinking that it was our destination only to realize that it was only a traffic signal.

Thanks to Dumass we found a room … After washing up we set out to do that thing we do… We roamed the streets... The German bakery happened… then the Osho gardens.
Varun and Vikram joined us… more loafing... More jokes…. It was finally time for alcohol. 

Thousand Oaks:
“Sorry Sir… only couples entry… ”
“Boss we’ve come all the way from Bangalore just to see Thousand Oaks”
“Yes yes... I understand … but couples only…”
More haggling... finally the guy agreed to let us have the drinks in the garden…
The historic SA-Aus match was going on and we were in no mood to stay in the garden...
Dumass steps in and does some talking… God knows what she did in there but the guy allowed us all to go right in… hmmm…
Awesome match!!! Brilliant ending… (Always wanted the SA team to beat the Aussies…) Barman’s pitcher… one more… a coupla long island ice teas and Pune was beginning to treat us just fine!!!!
Awesome first impression of Pune!!!!!!

Day two:
We missed the bus to Hinjewadi.. What a start to the day!!! We had to take an auto... Needless to say we got fleeced. But the campus was amazing man!!! Very clean and very well maintained… A few things scared us but on whole we were quite impressed by the campus… Encouraging scenes… decent hostel block… good canteens and hang-outs… peaceful overall… 
Missed the bus yet again and autoed the way back yet again…. Hmmm. That’s something we ought to learn… the bus timings

And I headed back home much lighter …

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Saved a 40 to shell out a 50

“Boss… Indiranagar??”
“Er... Hundred rupees saar”
“Yaake boss??? It costs just forty bucks to get there”
“Illa Saar... if I put the meter on, it’ll come to around 70 rupees. I’ll have to come back all alone…”
I was wondering what that meant… “Come back all alone???” I wondered.
“No way … had ive traveled from here for the last 24 years of my life…”
“Illa saar... The petrol…”
“Boss u put the meter on… I’ll pay you ten bucks more than the meter reading.”
There was a brief argument after which he relented ……….
….or so I thought…
I sat in the auto rickshaw while the auto driver mumbled, “Software engineer anthe… ipatthu rupaai extra kodakkagalva...”
I ignored his taunts and listened to some good music on my walkman… I gradually forgot the entire struggle and began to feel a joy that can only be associated with Floyd...
Soon we reached the place I was supposed to get off.
One look at the meter ad I was like … “WHAT THE???????”
I have always been a regular traveller on that route but I’ve never ever seen the friggin meter show a whopping 80 bucks. There were times when I had paid 45 bucks and thought I had been fleeced… This was unreal man…
I got off the auto and took out 40 bucks and gave it to him. The guy took that and waited… I started walking… The fellow came after me and asked me to pay up…
I was NOT going to be taken for a ride again… literally and otherwise…
More Auto drivers… more abuses… more threats… finally a cop!!!!
The cop came and saw what was happening…
“Sir Cox town inda...”
The cop looked at the driver.
“Cox town inda ishtu??? Yaako??”
I felt safer now…
There was a brief discussion where the cop spoke at length. Abused at length is more like it…
Finally the drivers left… each one of them giving me cold stares…
Then the surprise.. The cop waits for them to leave and asks me how much money I had…
I said, “Hundred and fifty saar”
“Fifty illi tallu…”
I freaked out… TOTALLY!!!!!!
I gave him a fifty and just walked away…
Some life!!!! Saved a 40 to shell out a 50…. Hmm….

Sunday, February 19, 2006

The Fast lane

I was browsing through the net when I came across this amazing pic…
The old man standing by and clapping moved me so much that I decided that the pic deserved a place on my blog.
What was the old man thinking?? Did the musician care??? Were the others so caught up with their chores that they failed to notice the musician??? Did the ol’ fella find time only past his prime to appreciate the little things that made him so happy? Do we have something to learn??
Isn’t it strange how little things in life make you stop and think. We are all so ambitious… We all want to become Warren Buffet and Bill Gates… And we will do anything to get there… we get so involved that we fail to notice the little things that make us smile… the little red flower adding colour to the garden… the naughty kid smiling after being upto mischief…
I sat back and wondered whether I was on the right track… I was running so hard in this mad race … did I even care to notice the things around me… I have cribbed so many times about little things … have I cared to see the bigger picture…
Well I will leave you with the picture and to your introspections.

This picture is courtesy Miss. Anupa Sarah Mohan. Many Thanks and peace!!!

Friday, February 10, 2006

Symbi experience :)

Well this was the first of my three calls that i received this year (as of now). I had my GD on Saturday the 9th. When i reached my centre about an hour before time... I realised i wasnt the earliest .. Nervous faces greeted me. Im sure i was just as nervous although i tried to portray a smile.I tried to find out who my batchmates were. Not all of them had turned up then. I picked up a conversation with who had and we discussed at length about how to avoid a fish market GD. Everyone seemed to have the same thing on thier mind. If theres gonna be a fish market no one would win. I was only trying to let everyone know that everyone thought exactly the same thing... With every new entrant into the waiting room, the stronger our group felt and finally about ten minute before the GD actually began we all felt a calm knowing fully well that we would all be having a fruitful GD. Nobody wanted a fish market.
The first topic that was given was a case study about Nike's Knight cutting off yearly aid to his alma mater because they supported a labour group that was against Nike's labour policies, particularly outsourcing work to the South East Asian countries.
We had a very good discussion regarding various aspects and most importantly reached a consensus.From the little Symbi GD experience i gathered that the panel was totally FOR a consensus.
The next topic that was given to us was a "punny" Dilbert strip. The comic strip about faulty HR policies had to be discussed at length.This topic was a lot easier than the first (atleast for me) because i dint really have to worry about current affairs related issues pertaining to the topic. Again we had a good GD and the group came to a consensus.
The wait after the GD was long... a good hour later the results were announced and 8 out of the 9 members in our group were selected for the interview round.I think it just goes to show how important it is to maintain decorum in the discussion.
Then there was a written essay round for those who had qualified the GD round.The topic was something to the effect that freedom of thought being more important than freedom of speech.This lasted for 10 minutes after which we had to get our certificates verified and those who had their interviews on the same day proceeded to the waiting room.I had my interviews the next day and so i peacefully got back home.
The next morning i had my interview at 10 am. The panelists were different from those for the GD. After the initial greetings they asked me to tell them something about myself briefly. The questions that followed were all based on my introduction... about academics and about my hobbies which included playing the guitar.
They asked me the cliched "Why do you want to do an MBA?" for which i had prepared a good answer and it seemed like they knew what to expect.They quizzed me on my work schedule and asked me why i was a late starter considering that i woke up at 7 every morning.
I told them that i had no need to wake up early to which they laughed heartily. They asked me questions on my preparations and wanted to know how pagalguy helped me. They also wanted to know if i had any other calls but dint probe me any further.
After about 15-20 minutes they decided that they had enough of me and let me go. I think i did reasonably well. There were absolutely no technical questions and very few questions related to my work experience although i personally tried to lead them to my work related strengths.
Well thats it as far as my GD/PI with SCMHRD is concerned. I hope they decide to call me back :)

Thursday, January 19, 2006

freak facial

Of late I have been hearing so much about women and beauty parlours. One of my friends bragged about spending a full grand over just her hair. Another broke up with her boyfriend just because he did not approve of her latest hairdo. My sister visits the parlour religiously like it’s a ritual. One of my colleagues and close friend happened to streak her hair. While I thought that she was participating in a fancy dress thingie as a tigress, the rest of the office was going “boink” over her new looks…
“Just what the hell have you done that your hair???”
“Just…. It looks good doesn’t it?”
I just nodded my head knowing fully well how much damage an angry HR can do.
However I had made up my mind. This parlour and hair was not going to remain woman’s territory. I wanted to dos something to my hair as well. I considered streaking my hair. The very thought scared me. Then I considered shaving my head off. That was even more frightful. Finally I decided on getting a facial done.
When I walked into the saloon I had no clue what a facial would be like. I told the guy in charge that I wanted a facial done. He asked me which one. Seeing my confused expression, he handed me a booklet. Orange peel facial, Banana Facial… blah blah… I never knew there were so many thingy that could be smeared on a face in the name of a facial.
One of the names sounded interesting…. Hot Sand Facial. I know, anyone would
have avoided that name but I somehow found it very inviting.
He politely asked me to lean back while he started washing my face. Then he started applying an assortment of cakes n creams on my face. Man!!! By now I was beginning to wonder why I had decided on a facial of all things. Things got worse… he got a kettle full of boiling water right next to my face on the pretext of “steam washing” my face. By now I was shitting bricks… He stuck cotton on my eyelids and I was only hoping he wouldn’t raze my neck. When he did remove the cotton, I saw my face and got genuinely frightened. I got the guy to click snaps of my coloured face. At that time I was getting the snaps taken just in case I wanted to complain to the cops…
The ordeal lasted an hour. When the last layer of whatever that was, was removed from my face, the relief on my face was unmistakable. Yet that guy mistook it for one of satisfaction, and said, “I told you, you would like it”.
I just nodded my head while I was wondering if there was any noticeable change in my face… couldn’t find any… Only my wallet felt considerably lighter.Guys!!! Don’t ever get this facial thing done…. Trust me the women just say it to get us all hyper…. If the write up wasn’t scary enough im sure the photos will scare the living daylights outta you

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Wednesday, January 11, 2006


I was going through a friends blog and i came across a checklist of things she had done or wanted to do real bad...Well i thought id make my own list :)

Here are things ive done which really STAND OUT.
1.Laughed aloud in class and landed my neighbour in deep shit.. lol!!! yeah babay!! ask Mansij about it!!
2.Attended classes without ditching a single day for one full year... yep... nerdy me in class 9.
3.Beat the living daylights outta someone... :D my sister will tell you im strong :D
4.Got beaten the shit outta me... yeah.. that also happened... never mind how...
5.Survived only on water for one whole day... yeah i won that challenge....
6.Gate crashed into a wedding and eaten for free... geez that was fun!!!
7.Gotten drunk silly... ah.. so often
8.Gotten drunk silly and gone back home.. i still remember the look on my moms face...
9.Gotten my head shaven. ... gee yes i have....
10.Grown a goatee long enough to be mistaken foR vertically growing chesthair... not really but you get the picture...
11.Bleached my hair ... yes... some insane trip!!
12.Spent a night on the beach.. on the sands. .. Awesome Goa ... AWESAAAM!!!
13.Slept in class... almost everyday in NITK.
14.Got beaten by teacher.. grrrrrr yeah... dumass dint know i liked talking
15.Smoked up and laughed my ass off for no reason... yeah one awesOme trip!!
16.Smoked up and cried till i slept.. i still dont know why i cried...
17.Missed home... well yes
18.Jumped out of a running bus and fallen down... hmmm.. well some more embarassment...
19.Lied through my nose and saved my skin... well... i do that almost all the time at work...
20.Campaigned for elections... damn sad we lost!!
21.Broken my bones... well yeah... 4 to be precise
22.Read my sisters diary. lol!!! cheap thrills and a million revelations... sssssssssssssh!!
23.Topped school.. er... one more of my nerdy antics...
24.Gotten arrested. well so close... seriously!!! had Ravish not dished out his ID Card we would all have been arrested for drunken revelry on a National Highway
25.Fallen in love... well dont all men like to believe that...
26.Fallen out of it.... well yeah... just like anything else...
27.Got dumped... lol!!! yeah its like ive got "DISPOSABLE" written on my forehead!!!
28.Shopped for Halli Chaddis... Bonus points
29.Scandalised shop keepers asking for condoms with a flirtatious look... geeeeee
30.Looked for my watch while wearing it all the while.... yeah that also..
31.Tripped on an instants notice... yep.. that was Mysore ... Thanks DeeJay
32.Duped a million testers ... ok fine not a million...
33.Failed an exam... not quite but came freakin close...DSP wow!!!
34.Stayed up all night and watched the sunrise ... yeah those days of exams at 9 am...
35.Been to a psychiatrist... almost confused the poor kid,...
36.Screamed as loudly as you possibly can.... geee.... my sister effect :D
37.Taken an ice cold bath ... damn there were no heaters those days... er... ok those places... im referring to NITK days.
38.Missed being with good friends... yeah the senti side...
39.Hated my "friend"... yeah that also...
40.Loved someone more than myself.... ok not quite more than myself.. but well u get the picture...
41.Got taken for a ride by someone.. well nevamind!!!
42.Danced like a fool ..... man!!! that was awesaam.... i was happily oblivious to the fact that I was being watched by my teacher.
43.Shoplifted... geee.... a Queen CD... :D
44.Played in the rain.... :)
45.Played splash in the rain ... Thanks Dumass!!!
46.Quit Smokin up.... ok thats something im fuckin proud about!!
47.Quit Smoking anything at all... well almost there...
48.Played with mud... well i loved it for some strange reason...
49.Been lonely.... WELL... :) *sad face*
50.Questioned myself... yeah almost everytime... and most times i have no answers...
51.Said Sorry and meant it... yeah... and there are some things i still feel sorry about...
52.Said sorry and not meant it .. well yeah most times....
53.Written a love letter.... shoot!!! that was a debacle...
54.Mumbled sweet somethings in an attempt to woo someone... er... dint work... damn!!!!
55.Made prank phone calls... sorry Mansij and Mansij's dad!!! :D
56.Sung in the shower... :D all the time... without fail...
57.Hummed a single song for a whole day... yeah it was "Cos i got high"... man i so loved that song!!
58.Felt likE an achiever.... well yeah but gone are those days...
59.Felt like a loser.... lol!!!! afer every CAT exam... more so after CAT 2005.
60.Felt sincerely that "ONLY hope has kept me alive"... yeah man!!!Thank God!!!
61.Felt like one life is never enough to do all the things u want to do so bad!!!.. well always!!!
62.Felt Jobless.. now!!!! more than ever!!!!
63.Cheated at a game... well i loved cheating my sister at Businessworld... Loved that look on her face when she would be close to bankrupt while i had all the money .. lol!!!!!
64.Lounged around in bed all day... :) thats my idea of a perfect day!!!!

Well thats as much as i can remember... Guess ive lived a plain n ordinary life by all counts... :)

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Floral Scentings

"What the fuck are u doing here???"
I turned around and saw my siser enter the room... er... her room
"Er.. er... hmmm..."
"Freak... you are using my perfume??? baaa..."
"No no... i was just comparing which one is better ... mine or yours..."
"Really... i also wanna check out the difference"
"No way. fart face... u wont get even a whiff of my Jordache..."
"Really .. lets see..."
With that she came straight at me ...
For a brief moment i smiled as i imagined a bull charge straight at me... however the smile was wiped off my face ...i thought i was being trampled by an elephant.. whats worse the "wills femme" thingie flew out off my hand and landed on the floor a little ahead...
The bottle did not break (luckily) but she gave me this really scary look ... one that mixed disbelief with absolute anger... i somehow liked the expression and smiled ... That seemed to have angered her even more... but before my smile widened i felt a pain im my stomach... The damn thing was poundin me like i was a puching bag...
I landed a few punches myself... before momma dearest made her presence felt and brought the fledging WWE fight to a halt...
Then there were a series of "she did it... he did it" allegations..
I walked out of her room thnking i had the last laugh...
The little demon came straight after me and caught me totally unaware...
As i bent over to protect myself i realised something was being sprayed all over me...
The damn brat was holding a rotten women's deo spray in each of her hands and spraying the hell out of those cans..
No amount of "bhaashan" on aerosols would stop her... Then she smiled a contened smile and raced back to her room and shut herself up..
I was late for work but i HAD to change... which i did... but the damn "smell" would just not go away...
I had to put up with that smell for a whole day... God!! why would women want to wear jasmine and rose .... freaks!!!