Sweet Child of mine

It was his second year in Surathkal and he was still one of those well oiled nerds trying to get to the top of the class… lol!!! It was his fourth semester to be precise… We had a certain lab called AEC Lab. It was one of those things that never ever give an output. Besides considering his attendance in that lab he didn’t even harbour any hopes of getting an output… yet deep inside he somehow felt he knew the theory enough to squeeze his way through…
It was the middle of May and the exams were on… He had stayed up the whole night trying to cram the unnecessary details…
“Abbe… maa**** woh capacitor ka value kya tha be???”
“Oye mereko nahi pata yaar… mereko bhi is experiment ka output nahi aaya…”
“Abbe is experiment aayega to mera vaat lag jayega yaar”
“Jo bhi hoyege dekha jayega… sutta keliye aayege kya???”
“Abhe bho**** main to aaj mar jaoonga yaar”
He somehow managed to go through all the experiments… He was confident that even if he did not get an output he would smash the viva and write enough theory to clear the paper … But there was still that particular experiment… hell what is the probability of getting that experiment yaar… one in thirteen… worth a chance ditching it… howzaat???
It seemed the most logical thing to do… ditch that experiment… so ditch he did!!!
7 am and he was haunting the surroundings of the AEC Lab. Somehow he was strangely confident that he would get thought the lab without any major scars…
The system is strange… they keep the question papers hidden in the answer sheets and we were to randomly pick up any of those answer booklets… smarty that he was he decided to have the first pick…
" Design an RC Coupled amplifier… gain of… bandwidth of… components… …. … "
He couldn’t believe it… It was that friggin question that he hadn’t studied for at all.. he could see his entire family ( dads great grand dad included) abusing him … he felt like abusing them back loudly but I believe sensibility returns when its most unlikely… lol!!!!
He tried his hand at copying… he raced as fast as he could towards the one girl who couldn’t have possibly ditched it…
“You are the best woman ive ever set my eyes upon… please please tell me atleast the values of the components and il manage to write up an infinite deal of garbage”
“Shhh…. What a freak… 10pF , 22uF ,……….. give me your sheet I’ll write the formulae in pencil… use it somewhere”
“Oh …. You are a sweetheart… Thanks a million man… that ba***** is coming back … me scooting… Cadburys after exam…”
Now he had the answer.. no one could fail him… he felt a strange sense of whatever… He was on my way… lol!!!! He confidently went to his place … wrote an infinite deal of nothing inserting those formulae in conspicuous locations and making the presence of those magical numbers felt…
He submitted the paper and hurriedly rushed towards the attendant for the apparatus…. “10 picofarad” , he proudly said… and looked around … we nodded at him as if to say.. “way to go”.. atleast that’s what he thought…
Soon he was at his table trying to set up the circuit… an hour passed and then another… hope to despair is quite a long journey man … he was feeling really stupid… nothing that he tried seemed to be having an impact. He was at his wits end when he could hear , “Roll number 999… come for viva…”, he got up and walked slowly towards the external examiner…
“what is the bandwith that you have designed this for???”
“sir, 200 Mhz sir…”
“200 Mhz ?”
“Yes sir but i think it will work only for about 150 Mhz”
“150 Mhz??!!!???”
“ Sir the coupling capacitor…”
“No … answer to the point… what is this circuit's operating range??”
“ Sir in the formula I have substituted… 200 …”
“Ok son… that’s all ok… are you getting the output???”
“No sir”
“It isn’t really surprising… look at the circuit… do you see anything missing”
He felt like beating up the bald man … If he knew th answer, would he be mumbling…
“ Cant see the mistake sir…”
“ This is what is wrong with the younger generation I say… they refuse to tackle the problem… everything they need has to be given to them on a platter… “
“yes sir “
“what yes sir”
“sorry sir… “
More blah…
“yes sir”
“what??”
“no sir… sorry sir..”
Then the old man asked him the question that probably saved his subject..
“How much did you score in the theory last semester?”
“sir 82 sir…”
“ah… so u sill don’t see the mistake eh…”
He pretended to stare at the sheet and mumbled all the formulae including E=mc2 hoping to impress the professor… of course he made sure that the bald man dint hear anything he mumbled…

“Can I see your circuit??”
“Yes of course sir…”
He casually walks towards the breadboard… examines the mess of wires….
“Son you should be a little more judicious with these wires u know… you have used such long wires for these small connections… Its no wonder that you have overlooked something… well the circuit seems right although the one you’ve drawn is a little different…”
Our man was surprised… I mean how could he rig up a circuit correctly when he had no clue about it at all considering that the circuit that he copied was wrong…. He simply nodded nevertheless…
Well it was well past three hours now and he asked him to submit his paper.. He told him that he couldn’t take any readings…
The old man said, “Well I don’t know… lets see … its not that difficult an experiment..”
“yes sir… something is wrong…”
And he walked out of the hall… It was the first time he thought hed fail in a paper… Not a nice feeling… When he got outside all of us sympathized with him at having gotten such a difficult question…
“They’ll clear you man… uve got the circuit right…”
“But goddam it ive drawn it wrong in the sheet..”
“They’ll pass you man… don’t worry”
Nothing could console him…
Someone once had told him that beer is mans best friend when hes all down… so Mr.Beer beckoned him…
He went all alone to this place in Mangalore about 20 kilometres away… got himself drunk silly and somehow managed to get back to the hostel.I being his roommate was really surprised because I had never seen him drink in the two years I knew him… He just walked in with his typical ceaseless smile , grabbed my guitar and started screaming “sweet child of mine…”
We all welcomed another intelligent man who had been ruined by education into our community of “light drinkers” ….

Kaam Tamam

I was sitting in my cubicle and pondering over a problem when I get a call from one of my friends ...
“ Oye… ******* kya kar rahe ho”
“ generally just… “
“just wondering if we can scoot to mysore tomorrow… getting bored… “
“how about tonight???”
There was just a moment of silence before what I had said dawned on us…

“Il be at your place in an hours time”
“Sure”
He hung up… I quickly found excuses and raced towards home… I Just had time enough to have a quick shower when I could hear his car screeching to a halt before my house…

A few cds, a couple of spare clothes… a few chocolates… n we were off on our way…
We decided to drag along another friend , lets call him Tamam.

We called him up on our way to his house and told him our plans… we had decided to drag him along at any cost… He seemed shaken up by the entire plan and tried to come up with excuses for each of which we had our own ridiculous counter – excuses…

“Oye.. were goin mysore… get dressed….”
“what dya mean”
“oye we know ur hardly wearing anything at this hour of the night… and watching some mallu pondy “
“Abbe… that’s ok.. what mysore…”
“just get dressed … we wil be there in 10 minutes”
“WTF????”
“yeah….”


In ten minutes we were outside his huge house…. Our man comes out to receive us in his pajamas and sweater.. man all that was missing was a monkey cap… It would’ve made a perfect goorkha picture… he tried sheepishly to give excses…
“Abbe kal mereko meeting hain yaar… nahin aa paoonga”
“what time is the meeting”
“sharp 8 o clock maccha…”
“don’t worry… you will be in office by 8am”
“WTF??? What ..”
“chill… go wear atleast ur undies… we gotta leave now..”
“Abbe maa***** I have work tomorrow”
“ba*** to your work… were leaving now… if you don’t step out now… were gonna start screaming ur lover babes name… she stays in the opposite building right???”
We could see the jimmy wince in discomfort…
He tried a few more excuses before he came up with the ultimate mother of all…
“Speak to my daddy… me good boy… wont go without daddys aashirvaard!!!!”
We confidently walked into his house… I was almost sure I would be able to work my magic with his parents… but one step into the house… n it spelt doom…
Uncle was in a murderous mood… one look and we knew what to expect… We could see Tamam jumping around in delight while we were wriggling uncomfortably…
“Tamam wont be going out tonight.. he has fever… when I last checked it was 98.1 degrees… besides he had running nose last week… “
“Ok uncle… yeah I guess he must stay home… it might get worse…”
“Why don’t you guys go upstairs and talk for a while… “
“yes uncle”
We put our heads down and walked into Tamams room… as expected he was watchin one of those movies and… we gave him ideas like eloping with us… considering his tendencies im sure he would’ve been considerably excited n all… but he kept his thoughts to himself and told us to wait in his room while he went for his customary leaks… ive known this freak of nature for over a decade now but ive never been able to explain his bladder problems… he had a reasonably tight one before he developed pimple problems and his mommy got a laser surgery done on his nose… God alone knows what the doctor did but although his pimples weren’t to be seen for a almost a week his bladder (im not talking gall bladder) seemed to have lost considerable strength. By the time he reappeared we stowed away his company swipe card in a pile of books and shouted goodbye…
When we got to the car we were still wondering how that freak could possibly prefer “nice” movies to a long night drive..
The journey was a pleasant one … we were almost halfway into Kengeri when we got a call from a rather shaken up Tamam …
“Hey did u guys see my swipe card anywhere..”
“Hell yeah… its with us … dammit!!!!”
“grrrrr… brrrrrr… mrrrrrr…”
“what happened???”
“I don’t believe you guys are my friends…”
“We don’t believe you ditched us…”
“You actually have my…”
“Yeah.. well be back tomorrow morning… Just look around… u might just find it somewhere there..”
and I could no longer hear the soothing background music from his dads transistor…

We carried on.. the journey was amazing… good music… good conversation and mild traffic… so we generally proceeded towards Mysore at a reasonable speed. We were running out of ideas when we get another call from out Tamam!!!
“B****** ur coming back rt now n returning the card to me… WTF is wrong with you guys… “
The tone was not one of anger … it was a confused tone.. totally confused… almost begging for us to return his card…
We couldn’t help laughing out aloud.In fact we had to stop the vehicle so that we could laugh without danger… and all the while our dear Tamam is letting loose a tirade of abuses…
We could literally hear the relief he felt when we told him that his card was in his house only …
After we hung up… we carried on.. One stop at Café Coffee Day … and within a couple of hours we were in Mysore…
One amazing trip… in every sense of the word!!!!!

White Flag -Dido

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,
I'll tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused but nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that that makes sense

And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was then
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on....

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

What a beautiful song!!! what a lovely message... yeah I dont give up!!!! Yeah i get knocked... but im up again .. No ur never gonna see me down...

Dream on!!!! It wont change a thing!!!!!

Everything is so bloody cosy in feigned reality … Its not even half as harsh… everything u want to own is up for grabs. Everything that happens is a choice we’ve made… and something we look forward to...

Reality is a bitch!!! Consider this… The woman of your dreams politely tells you that you aren't the one for her… but that you're a wonderful person… you are not just depressed... you're hurt where it hurts the most.. the lil son of an ego takes a bashing!!!

More alcohol???? Deep inside you know that this is not gonna change reality… it still will remain that you are a loser… You have just lost the girl who was the source of your inspiration… After all she was the one who carved the niche you tried to fit in… Now that you weren't even close… you feel like theres nothing left on this world which will be a motivation… nothing else to look forward to…

“will there ever be someone in my life who will match this babe… will there ever be someone who will be able to command respect and love like this sweet dame…”

That’s when I decided its time that reality neednt control me… I live my life the way I want to… I may not be the one for her… yet she could be the one for me… this belief makes me believe that im happy with her … I spend all my time with her… I assume that she loves me as much … This is what I feel… that I can live in a world of dreams… of lions and princesses … shunning reality… hoping that the dreams wont come crashing down… If nothing im happy … Shes what i want to live for... shes mine in my dreams... I dream on!!!

Ironic - Thank you Alanis

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
Isn't it ironic ... don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought ... it figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
'Well isn't this nice...'
And isn't it ironic ... don't you think

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

It's a traffic jam when you're already late
It's a no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic... don't you think
A little too ironic... and yeah I really do think...

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out


So true dont u think... everytime u think everythings going so perfectly... i wonder whats in store for me... and im never failed.... something has to go wrong... and thinking of the entire episode at a later stage... the happiness seems so strange... so fake... isnt it so goddam ironic... :)

PINK!!!!!!!! :)

It was a lazy Saturday afternoon… I was still groveling on my bed wondering if it was late enough to wake up… I heard someone say…
“Damn its woken up”…
I lazily turned around to see my sister - that stupid thing - yelling something at me…. What was she doing in my room??? How dare she yell at me in my room… I felt like a taunted lion n all… (don’t ask me where that feeling comes from… lol!!!) I could now hear not just her ... My mom was also yelling…
“Don’t u have classes now??? Its one already and look at you… “
I slowly got to my feet but I was still wondering what that wicked lil thing was doing in my room. I just needed a reason to land my fist on her face… I figured she was rummaging through my wardrobe….
“What the hell do you think you are doing?”
“Im looking for my Pink top”
I was getting a little unnerved…
“Pink top???? What the frig are u looking for a pink top in my cupboard for?”
“You stole my Levis remember… and my Pepe Shirt… that nice one… “
“Oye… I didn’t steal ‘em… I had asked mommy… “
“My foot u asked mommy… “
“ Well that still dosent explain why ur looking in my cupboard for pink tops???”
“You never know…”
I could feel myself slowly but surely losing it… I had gotten my clothes ironed n arranged neatly … and now I could see them all strewn all over the place…
“Oye you better clear up the mess…”
“You better return my pink top”
I tried to reason….
“What will I do with Your goddam pink top???? “
“Wear it…” and then one stupid characteristic grin…
hehe!!!! That was it!!!
My room was the battlefield for the modern battle of Panipat… one man striving to save his room and the opponent trying to salvage a pink top or whatever… grrrr!!!!
It started with loud squeals… then screams… I was knocked a couple of times on my face… I wasn’t sleepy anymore… a couple of scratches … I was burning within… surprisingly none of my punches seemed to be having any effect on her… It mustve been her favourite pinkie… lol!!!
It went on until the referee , my mom intervened… she wielded a broom and had an angry look… I knew that if I hadn’t stopped then… I would be the first to be attached … Somehow all elder brothers end up on the wrong side…
Peace ensued in no time… both of us tails down… I had to clear up my room … while my sister had to leave without her pink top lol!!!!
Some battle this was… My sister seemed to be feeling the pain now… she was rubbing her cheeks while I felt a strange satisfaction… Needless to say the scratches from her talons were hurting like crazy but I tried to be the brave man…
Some beginning to the day!!!!! God I love my punching bag!!!

Fools .... we all!!!!!!!!

Scene 1: 12:05 pm (deadline at 12:00 noon)

I cant really describe that feeling in words … it wasn’t one of pain… it wasn’t uneasiness… it could at best be understood as the longing of a man to empty his swollen sack. Think about it… the system of yours is begging you to free it of its woes and your mind chooses to put off the inevitable for some auspicious moment…
“Damn you … cant u just get back to ur damned coding after relieving urself??”
“Self control is important … wait on for sometime…. Once were done with this package .. u can unload as much as u want….”
“Damn the self control… I cant take it much longer .. u know it!!!”
“Dude … chill maadi… cant u just hang on for a minute without troubling me so much. I cant think half as well when u do this to me… Its only gonna take longer… Chill for a while”
“You cant damn think and I cant damn hold on for too much longer…”
“You know… a perfectionist is one who strives to exceed his limits…”
“Damn ur perfection… think natural… look its not gonna hold too long… you had better be warned…”
“Damn u .. u son of a freak… i cant get leave this place without having that darn thing finished… cant u friggin understand…”
“Alright … THIS IS IT… don’t blame me if …. 5…4…..3….”
This was the moment when the mind had to yield to the bladder…. Damn it…“The call” has to be answered … it just HAS TO BE ANSWERED… is there anyone who can refute this???? ANYONE????
I got up and ran to the rest room…

Scene 2: 7:30 pm

Its a lot clearer now… No more pressure …no more tension… Having literally battled with the work over the last few weeks, the “nothing to do” feeling was a lil difficult to handle… browsing… mailing… chatting… I was generally a lil bored….
I decided to visit the restroom one last time before I left for the day… I got up and ambled casually into the rest room… As I was about to walk out of the loo….. I could hear some heavy footsteps heading towards me from the other side of the door… Being prone to accidents I decided to play it safe and stepped back… Boy!!! was that a good move or what…. The man who raced inside would’ve literally flattened me …. He came in hurriedly… Even before he was inside the heavenly abode of such tortured souls his fly was wide open … he stormed into the limited space like a bull… As he relieved the sensation ( he later put it that way) … I was just wondering why he would torture himself so much… I waited for him outside the loo… He raced past me with much the same speed… I called out for him and asked me why he was in a hurry… From a distance he replied “ Abbe das minute main submit karna hain…” and kept running…


I walked out of the place wondering what a fool I would’ve made of myself that morning... How many fellows wouldve seen me running... Would they have understood??

Damn!!!! What fools, work makes of us!!!!!!

DUH!!!!!! Some life this!!!!

It’s been some time now since I’ve been thinking… “Is this what I really want to do? Stare at the goddam monitor hoping for a miracle …”
Am I cut out for this… Is this what I’ve studied for twenty years of my life… And frankly I still have no clue… I’m as confused as ever n it only gets worse..
Walking down that lane trying to figure out where I went wrong… the answer still eludes me… was it when I chose science over arts?? Was it when I topped school n chose to do engineering in electronics or was it when I chose to do my engineering in erstwhile KREC???
While in college, the picture of a software engineer that was presented to me was that of a hi-flying, hi-earning, well dressed, polite and “all-having” demi god!! Now I see the things that were not visible in the picture… the stress, deadlines, peer pressure, expectations and more deadlines…
Staring at a goddam picture tube for at least ten hours out of the possible twenty four, trying to discover those damned bugs and cleansing the code of all unrighteousness… duh!!!! Some life!!!!!
I cant imagine doing this all my life… presenting some ragged piece of code.. convincing my seniors that this is the best that ever was… and then basking in the glory of my helplessness..
Yes this is life my friend… I know it aint what I set off to become.. but having become just what I dint want to .. im waiting for the miracle… Yes there is hope … It keeps me alive..

Merry Christmas

Date: 19th December 2003
Time : 4:30pm

Jack is rudely woken up from his afternoon siesta by a mighty splash of water wetting his face … Jumping outta his bed he realizes his mom is screaming.. “Ur the santa for the evening… u better leave now… The Christmas party is at 5”.. It takes a while before things begin to clear up… and the wetness begins to sink in…
A quick shower later, hes all ready to leave to church … the red cloak and santa beard safely stacked up in his huge backpack… “It’s the season to be jolly”… yea.. it was his first time as Santa and he was really excited about the entire experience … He didn’t want to miss a moment of the fun… So hurriedly he got all dressed up and set off…
The kine needed a wash real bad… however the dirty kine wasn’t gonna stop him.. he was the santa… the heart throb of the lil kids and they were waiting for him at church… lol!!! He couldn’t keep them waiting for long could he???
Within a few minutes he was on the main road galloping away…
A few meters away…he could see a big man … he was waving out his finger… or whatever… he obviously wanted a lift… The main bus stand was still some distance away.. and it was a very very hot afternoon.. Under normal circumstances even the sight of a man all tired n sweating wouldn’t have moved him enough to give him a lift… but it was the Christmas season… and more importantly he was the santa for the day… He couldn’t but stop his kine..
A big grin … a hop , skip n jump… the two were riding away…
“Whats your name??”
“Jack… as in Jackass”
There was some silence… then another question…
“can you drop me off at the main bus stand”…
“Of course… no problemo..”
The road ahead was pretty good … there were no potholes… no speed breakers… Jack was getting late for the party… he stepped up the speed… “The man is big… really big… he wondered as he struggled to maneuver the bike…
They reached a curve where Jack couldn’t really see anything ahead of him… He heard a loud sound… he was wondering what it could be… IT WAS A BIKE HEADING STRAIGHT AT HIM … That dormant brain of his couldn’t come up with anything else but a picture of superman jumping off a skyscraper.. this thanks to a movie he had seen earlier.. A moment of insanity later… Jack was on the footpath…he had jumped off the bike straight for the footpath.. some magnetic effect … he landed face first on the footpath… back on the road was an entangled mass of vehicles ….and men struggling to get out of the mess…
Before he could comprehend what had really happened he noticed a white rod popping out of his knee n sayin “hello… thanx for screwin up”… A moment of shooting pain n he passed out…
Jack regained consciousness in a hospital… The red cloak was the first thing he noticed…
A huge woman dressed in white said “ Santas gonna need an operation..Merry Christmas anyways”
“Merry Christmas”, He said n returned to his sleep….


Ps: any resemblance to anyone living or dead… (luckily living actually) is purely intended…

totally arbit!!!!

One of the things that has always managed to keep my mind occupied is the quest to figure out something that isnt already figured... At last i did it... I came up with something that (i seriously hope )hasnt already been thought about .... BEER FLAVOURED MILK... strange as it may seem.. think about it ... would it not be a huge success... hmmm.... (tryin to look intellectual n all)
Ok look at it this way.. its healthy.. (milk is healthy .. anyone who thinks otherwise??? (looking menacingly)) its got the flavour of beer... now that IS nice...
Mommas boys can also go to the pubs boldly n order for beer milk... YES THEY CAN!!! n momma will appreciate her sonny for going to a pub.. ever heard of that??
The "bad" boys also have reason to smile ... if they do prefer beer to beer flavoured milk... n go back home ... tehy can always say that they were smelling of milk... lol!!!
It will be cheap... wont leave lasting effects.. n will serve the purpose...
NOW THAT IVE GIVEN U GUYS THE IDEA... WHY DONT U PRESS UR ASS TO SOME WORK AND COME UP WITH A MIND BLOWING FORMULA...
did some one say the end is near??? No im not drunk!!!


arbit... totally...